Jhakas | Sanjay Jha
Less than 10 days into the so-called mini-World Cup, and believe me you, it feels already that the cup runneth over. This Champions Trophy has clearly become a controversial conundrum, pregnant with internecine, dramatic conflicts, queer happenings and behind-the-curtain conspiracy theories. Here’s a brief synopsis :
1) Shoaib Akhtar and Mohammad Asif face a two-year suspension for failing a dope test, that too initiated by the Pakistan authorities themselves (this is a landmark event), supposedly engineered by coach Bob Woolmer who had a sniffling suspicion that something serious was amiss. Coming amidst the captaincy imbroglio involving I-resign-now-I-return-tomorrow Younis Khan, Pakistan face the likely prospect of having their wicket-keeper being called into do bowling honours against Sri Lanka today. Continue reading below
2) The 22 yard pitches at Ahmedabad and Bombay look like a crumbling brownie with caramel toppings, deceptively turning sideways, making international batsmen look like a bunch of shuffling novices batting with a hockey stick. The bowlers, particularly those who spin at a snail’s pace, are grinning sadistically from earlobe to earlobe, and must be secretly thrilled at the unleveled-playing fields (pun intended). England crawled, India stumbled, West Indies crashed, New Zealand struggled and South Africa copped out, looking green and literally sick. Suddenly a score of 300 looks as remote as the lost planet, Pluto.
3) At Jaipur, BCCIs Vice President Lalit Modi made an involuntary celebration of the fall of Indian wickets, courtesy some bizarre fireworks right in the middle of the match. The boom almost boomeranged, the crackers the work of over-enthusiastic crack-pots who govern Indian cricket. That was divine justice, and captured the ludicrous state of our cricket administration.
4) Indians are supposed to be wild, tempestuous, insane cricket lovers, right? Not if you went to watch matches from the newly revived, outstandingly maintained, classic cricket stadium, Cricket Club of India. And isn’t Bombay supposed to be the Mecca/residence of Indian cricket? There are only a handful of passionate fans enduring the searing humidity and monotonous proceedings, accentuated by the pocket-tearing ticket prices. The ICC has yet to hear the clichéd management funda, think global, act local. By enforcing dollar pricing on Indian cricket lovers, making them pay astronomical entry fees, the ICC has reveled it’s ineffectual handling of basic commercial issues. Gate fees are a small fraction of total revenue targets -- the real moolah lies in media rights. It is sad to see the tragic sight of empty stands, in this, the biggest pre-World Cup tournament.
5) Can someone please explain to me as to why we did not have matches being played in the garden city of Bangalore, and not a single match at the majestic Eden Gardens, Kolkotta? Was it pure political vendetta by the current BCCI regime or some climatic conditions or what?
6) Just check out the atrocious scheduling of matches; India has only three league matches, and despite that they have a 11-day gap between two matches. India plays the unpredictable West Indies on 26th Oct, 2006, post-Diwali vacations, and after consumption of kaju-barfis, odd sweetmeats, and other calorific delights. And just three days later, they play the potential fire-cracker of the tournament against Australia on 29th October, which is conveneiently a lazy hazy Sunday, and guarantees unprecedented TRPs.
7) The match-fixing specter returned with majestic cockiness, sporting a wicked expression as it brought Herschelle Gibbs face to face with an over exuberant Delhi Police. And for some inane reason, CEO of ICC, Malcolm Speed does not like the prospect of sharing crisply fried samosas and cutting chai with ex-Indian skipper Mohammed Azharuddin, because he is suffering from Azhar’s long-list of mobile phone calls. Grow up, guys! Smell the black beans!
8) The BCCI and ICC have decided to resume their boxing duel post-November 5, as their silly antics had become from a rip-roaring comedy to an exasperating farce. God bless them for their rare exhibition of a trait called prudence.
But hang on, folks, don’t give up hope as yet. After all, things can take a sudden U-turn. And soon events on the green turf may actually overtake the Ekta Kapoor lather-foaming bubbles off it.
Pakistan vs Sri Lanka then. Bring it on!
