Yellow, yellow dirty fellow

Even the BCCI President Mr Sharad Pawar was rudely ushered away by the victorious Aussies eager to beaver before clicking cameras, which manifested their supercilious crass demeanor. It was shockingly distasteful. And a perfect end to a wash-out tournament.

Not many are aware perhaps, but a leading team medical consultant told me that both Shivnaraine Chanderpaul and Chris Gayle were acutely unfit before the match began; in fact, the phlegmatic Chanderpaul was close to being on "drips" apparently.

Which probably explains the hurried flurry of fours and sixes from both before they suddenly perished. The West Indies batsmen thereafter were listless and cold, indicating that they were perhaps more in need of some intravenous fluids than their enterprising openers.

Lara's lads looked a pale shadow of a team that inspired visions and the local crowd of a dramatic upset. The Australians cruised home with trademark, dominant ease. It was an anti-climax of epic proportions.

I thought the Champions Trophy never really took-off as it was based on a flawed concept. In every big tournament, the kick-off inaugural match sets the pulse-pounding tempo and trend for the rest to follow.

Here we were introduced to the "novel" concept of silly unwanted qualifiers at the beginning stage itself. It is like the World Cup soccer commencing with the qualifying rounds; it's simply grotesque.

It was such a bizarre experiment, that the public sentiment switched off these matches which were deemed "inconsequential". Secondly, the ICC priced these tickets as if every Indian cricket fanatic owns a 10,000 Reliance shares recently bought and travels J class on British Airways to a dinner hosted by some Nayar for a Hurley in Mayfair, London.

The cricket stadiums were usually half-filled , mostly with kindly sponsor distribution. The so-called "qualifiers" boomeranged big time, as Sri Lankans were soon propounded favorites by expert commentators serenading a smooth shoulder and left-over noodle straps in swanky studios, and the West Indies reached the championship finals.

The immature one-upmanship battle between ICC and BCCI has made the whole sport appear farcical, with cricket administrators touching a bottomless pit. And this slam-bang festival match was happening all through the tournament. Perhaps it was deliberately planned for providing media fodder and some trivial entertainment by the side alleys, but it was shoddy stuff, whether colonial or Rajasthani.

The wickets produced unbelievable results, and much was made of the "dew factor". Of course, when the team bowling second won the match, the expert commentators talked of the ball "skidding in hurriedly". I think the dew was the tsunami of this tournament.

Ponting’s virtual instruction to ICC to investigate the absence of the West Indies from the ICC Awards event in Bombay and take serious action against them is a reflection of the characteristic Aussie temperament. Will the ICC tell Ponting to mind his own receding hair-line or will they say, Aye Aye, mate?

The doping scandal involving Shoaib Akhtar and Mohd Asif of Pakistan literally ruined two careers, and may have derailed the Rawalpindi Express forever. And former Pakistan skipper Rameez Raza, who is a brilliant commentator post-retirement, attributed the Pakistani debacle to South Africa to some charming hospitality of the Indian curators. All Asian teams effectively ate grass, anyways!

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As for India, they had a phenomenal opportunity to not just avenge continuing defeats against Australia but to score a major psychological advantage pre-World Cup 2007.

Since Australia had been defeated by the West Indies earlier, had the Men in Blue thundered at Mohali, Australia would have made a humiliating exit at the league level itself. And India could have prevented the crumbling Final Frontiers from total extermination, at least.

Home conditions, right? In fact, I am not aware of how much strategic thinking goes on in the Indian camp, but the match at Mohali could be a turning point for both Australia and India. Australia have gone on to win the ICC Champions Trophy for the first time after several failed efforts, while we are going southwards to recapture some self-belief.

In the midst of the maddening chaos, the BCCI in it's typical wisdom decided that a commercial shoot for an official sponsor was better preparation for the South African tour than playing a Duleep Trophy match. The Indian players who were keen to play the match for much needed practice were instead ordered to have a clean shave, shower, gel, dress up and "be counted". Dilip Vengsarkar, Chief Selector, was not even informed.

And Greg Chappell watched a fashion show with an expression that was more suited to a funeral service. When losing becomes a fashion, it happens.