Jhakas | Sanjay Jha
It’s only in India that the selection between two essentially low profile cricket coaches of fairly questionable credentials can create the kind of brouhaha it has. The week-end assumed staggering proportions as the BCCI comic event in Chennai completely drowned the other convoluted debate on who should be the President of the great Indian republic. Shivraj Patil must have developed a serious inferiority complex over the week-end, as besides George Clooney, he had Graham Ford to contend with for media space. The Kent coach, under the influence of some smart counsel, assiduously avoided the media circus, but how long can he continue his soliloquy act is anyone’s guess. John Emburey, like a dignified gentleman smarting under a crushing rejection in 25 minutes flat , chose the appropriate platform of English nobility as his natural outlet; he hit the bar.
But now for the more theatrical part of this never-ending saga of topsy-turvy turns that will even give Smriti Irani the crimson blushes. Apparently., Graham Ford made a “ verbal presentation”; which ostensibly implies that unlike Greg Chappell he does not use the laptop. That by logical interpretation implies, that the famous e-mail leaks that threatened the cricket empire of India under the Aussies’ destructive rule will be in hiatus for a while. Or at least till Graham goes Yahoo! Continue reading below
I wonder what strategic breakthroughs did his verbal presentation incorporate other than the feel-good India Shining kind of motherhood claptrap. "I will improve India’s fielding, batting, bowling, running between the wickets, temperament, culture, team spirit, ability to cope with pressure, and I will tell the captain not to take decisions, only the blame. I will observe media gag but will of course, rely on off the record juicy tit-bits to the highest bidder." Whatever!
Of course, it must have been powerfully inspirational because it totally eclipsed the Powerpoint of John Emburey’s notebook, apparently the blue-eyed English man whom amcha-Mumbaikar Sunil Gavaskar heartfully lionizes and tried hard to anchor across the Gateway.
In a record 25 minutes, a subject of such epic proportions (it made more national headlines than India’s nuclear deal) was finally frozen like the gelato. Some Q&A must have inevitably followed, like will Ford prefer to stay in the majestic Taj Mahal, Bombay towering over Tendulkar’s or the classic Taj West End in crowded Bengalooru where history lessons will make the superstitious sweat prodigiously? If Ford is wise, he will choose Goa. Maybe even Patna.
The comic opera has a surprise twist here. Hold your breath, but typically, after all the marathon proceedings, no one knows when will Ford drive down Bombay’s chaotic Lower Parel area. It is still possible that Coach Ford will finally arrive on our GDP 9.4% growing shores only after 2008. By which time, the Duke of Kent may have offered Graham a few extra pounds round his waist circumference if the county championship points are reasonably flattering. So technically, India still does not have a coach, albeit if BCCI is to be taken seriously, Ford will be on the steering wheel in Ireland, awaiting the Men in Blue in the driveway of salubrious Dublin, after pre-maturely terminating his contract.
Either way, Ford or no Ford, we cannot afford another basket-case like Chappell.
Graham Ford has made a great start though. No lap-top. No presentations. No e-mails.
Now all he has to do is to fasten his seat belts!
