Jhakas | Sanjay Jha
Over the last few days I have donned a black overcoat and dark shades, snooped around BCCI HQ in the guise of Niranjan Shah, smuggled myself into the Press Club of India in a whisky-crate, and courtesy a quick conversation with JK Rowling, even managed to sneak for a few hours (till my magical potion lasted) into Dilip Vengsarkar's bushy moustache in the form of a baby bee, sorry Abhishek Bachcha.) That's called the ultimate in a "sting" operation (apologies, Dilip, for that tomato bump).
So here, at last, is the real truth behind the ceremonious re-axing of Sourav Ganguly. Continue reading below
1) He is not named Sachin Tendulkar
2) Sourav refused coach Gary Kirsten's advice to experiment batting right-handed, and bowling as a left-armer. Kirsten had recommended these "minor iterations" to Sourav, which the Prince had unfortunately not agreed to. The coach was extremely miffed.
3) MS Dhoni was not impressed when he heard all his bachcha boys calling Ganguly, " Dada". Dhoni roared, " Only me is Dada now. Mind it". And out went the southpaw.
4) The selectors opined that if Sourav had just hit one triple century in Sri Lanka and two double-hundreds, his chances of being selected would have definitely " improved somewhat." Gangs got booted out, naturally.
5) The Ta-ta to Sourav conspiracy was at the behest of a huge business conglomerate which has had trouble setting up a car project called Na-na or something in Bengal. Fix him, said the Jaguar-like corporate bigwig.
6) Sharad Pawar suspected that something sinister was being plotted by Ganguly with the EPL, ever since news leaked in that Dada had bought an apartment in London.
7) A concerned unnamed BCCI selector told me that actually the selectors had done him a personal favor as Sourav had requested for leave to concentrate on the Durga puja festivals instead.
8) The BCCI stated that their "working" constitution ( whatever that is) prohibits handling of two Dadas. Since Jaggu Dada was back, now the other had to go.
9)The BCCI and Cricket Australia struck a bipartite deal; Symonds for Sourav and vice versa.
10) Lastly, going back to point 1, it is the fault of Sourav's parents. Just why didn't they call him Sachin Tendulkar??
And they tell us, what's in a name?
