Jhakas | Sanjay Jha
In the 1970s cinema that I grew up watching, every time the daffodils and roses moved horizontally in a salsa meets break-dance, it meant that the hero and his lady-love were up to no good. Invariably, the woman got pregnant, what with pollution rates being low and stress levels below par, the men had both virility and fertility at that time. There was no need for snuff and Viagra , unlike our modern-day Dev Ds to boost libido . However, since the man usually expressed terrible shock with a confounding expression at the woman's remarkable powers of instant conception , the slighted heroine usually gulped a black liquid in a transparent jar with a big black label that said-TICK 20 POISON DANGER. Of course, she would not die, because grape-juice actually is an anti-oxidant. Anyway, for two well-known self-proclaimed heroes, T20 cricket has unfortunately just turned into the classic devil's juice of Tick 20 that the Bollywood girls drank as quickly as Mexicans gobble a vodka shot.
As I read about a certain Mr Allen Stanford ( who had made the cricket world look at him with the envy middle-aged men have towards Hugh Hefner ) being accused of a mere USD 8 billion fraud , and his own Indian counterpart Mr Lalit Modi of acquiring mansions and manufacturing signatures, the T20 irony was not lost on me. Both these guys are financially well bank-rolled, have massive egos, are blatantly supercilious -in-your-face , and believe in unconventional autocracy. Stanford even had a gullible wife of one of the dejected fools on his jumpy lap, while the poor chap was attempting a different kind of hit on the field and watching the silly flirting on a giant-screen. It almost seemed like a British sex comedy of the Carry On series. But then, hey guys, Stanford had thrown an alluring, appetizing hook---- the winner of the three-hour farce would take away USD 20 million . Naturally, the lap dance was ignored as a mere side-show, and the cricketers went home, richer if not so happy that the big screens did not have a technical failure. As I write, Stanford stands accused of a massive con-job that will probably have him in bankruptcy if not in the coolers , wetting his heels. Continue reading below
As for Lalit Modi, like Stanford he has championed T 20 ( the IPL bit) cricket as his " little baby", providing the fledgling new-born with an assortment of baby-sitters, nurses, diapers and even cheer-leaders. Also, he slaps cops with inexplicable joy , tears tickets of officially licensed guests, and apparently short-charges even a poor NGO. Also he has such a big head, you can make a fortune renting it out as a balloon. To be fair to Modi and perhaps unfair to those who believe otherwise , the charges have not yet been fully proven, but in India , we all know that the long arm of the law can be summarily amputated.
Just like Stanford landed with the arrogance of a puppy with two tails by a helicopter in Lord's, Modi has recently asked the famous Cricket Club of India to provide IPL with the entire member's enclosure for their sponsors and franchise owners , while the poor displaced age-old chaps will be accommodated at some enclosure on the West stand free of cost , on a first come first served basis. It is a take it or lump it attitude that smacks of the innate condescension of someone who commands the purse-strings and thinks they are more important than respecting some time-honored traditions. Last I heard the CCI guys who have proposed this obtuse sell-out were literally booed out at an informal briefing of the grand idea.
Modi and Stanford. T 20. Court cases. Fraud. Controversy. Recession. Bollywood. TV sponsorship row. A court case against the entire former BCCI machinery. Elections. The script for the summer is getting hotter. And still we blame global warming.
